FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: November 5, 2001, 10:00 p.m. Barnes Place Issues Voter's Guide for Dead People BARNES PLACE (ATLANTA, GEORGIA) - The very deceased Edith received mail this weekend from the City of Atlanta, informing her that her polling place has remained the same even though she now lives in Precinct 2W. Georgia has a history of dead people voting. In 1946, three people claimed to be the Governor-elect until the Atlanta Journal-Constitution pointed out how many dead people had voted in alphabetical order in one candidate's home County. The Social Secretary thought it would be appropriate to issue a voter's guide, in case you're voting in the name of a dead person on Tuesday. CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR City Hall has an ineffective machine that needs to be broken apart. While we're impressed with Robb Pitts' ability to unite the City Council as City Council President, Pitts has served the City of Atlanta for quite a while, and we're concerned he might just know too much. While outspoken about the existing administration's deficiencies, we're still a bit leery of his connections. He might do okay, but given the city's pending fiscal crisis, crumbling infrastructure, and battered police force, we'd prefer not to hedge our bets on a man who has picked out the absolute worst campaign trail ink color: Construction Orange. What City Hall needs, we think, is a woman to shake things up, and break down that good ol' boy network that's had a strong-hold on our city for at least the last decade-and-a-half. Initially, we thought Shirley Franklin was our girl. We met her in person in late June on a Friday evening. The next two days and then again a week later we bumped into Shirley again. One time, we had a picture taken with her-just in case. Each time she recognized our faces, which really impressed us. However, I'm afraid to say, we recognized the same cheap brown linen suit in desperate need of dry cleaning. For the candidate who has raised more money than any other mayoral candidate, couldn't she allocate a few more funds for a little more diverse wardrobe? What kind of fiscal fashion sense is that? While we're not going to disqualify a candidate because of her tattered suits, not to mention a thing about that tired hairstyle, we are concerned that she's received the backing of the establishment we're hoping will be broken apart in this election. Cause for grave concern is candidate Trudy Kitchin, who points out in the first paragraph of her campaign literature, "Trudy is blessed with the clean genes of the Swedes and the courage and fighting spirit of the Irish." Mmm-kay. 'nough said. Along comes the underdog, Gloria Bromell-Tinubu. Because of her complex last name, she wants to be known simply as Gloria. She has the most pleasing graphic identity of any of the candidates, which presents a fresh, exciting and professional mood. She has a Ph.D in economics and is a professor at Spelman College. From 1994 to 1998, Gloria served on Atlanta's City Council. She has an impressive track record for a Council Member of one term, when held against the track records of other Council Members of multiple terms. Most impressive is her creation of the Neighborhood Deputies Program, which trains citizens to identify and report housing code violations. This program has allowed the city to more effectively find code violations by relying on citizen volunteers (of which Director of Ambiance and Entertainment is one) to highlight the most pressing issues in the community. This program has become a model for other city departments and how they can become more effective with fewer resources. But we haven't just decided who we want to support based on fashion and campaign graphics. Most revealing of the candidates was their reply at a candidates' forum to this question, "You've been elected Mayor and it's your first day on the job; what is your first action?" ROBB PITTS: I'd meet with all the department heads and tell them thank you for their time, but we don't need you anymore. BARNES PLACE REACTION: It's about time we get that do-nothing fashion-model police chief out of office. But, there are other city departments with great leaders, who, if provided the right support, could probably accomplish great things. Plus, when you clean house, that allows you to put in place your machine. SHIRLEY FRANKLIN: I'd institute top-down audits. BARNES PLACE REACTION: We already know she's not getting any money for her wardrobe. Knowing where the money sits doesn't necessarily solve problems. And besides, this City has had more audits and consultants than a bookkeeper could count. It's time to start implementing those high-dollar plans. GLORIA: I'd meet with the City Council and work on building a coalition with them. Change in this City cannot happen if the City Council is not on board, and we need to reinvent City Government if we're going to make it effective again. BARNES PLACE REACTION: Amen. This City has been at a stand still for too long because its leadership is divided on how to provide basic services. Plus, an attitude like this is contagious. It needs to permeate to all other areas of City Government. In summary, Gloria has the energy and attitude this city needs. Unfortunately, she probably won't win, unless a lot of dead people vote. CANDIDATE FOR CITY COUNCIL PRESIDENT "Able" Mable Thomas may be the most candidate for your vote, but she carelessly throws her weight around City Hall. Attend any Committee meeting she chairs and her disrespect for her white fellow Council Members is simply appalling. While she has an impressive list of credits to her name, the simple fact of the matter is she didn't accomplish those alone. We seriously question if she will be "Able" to demonstrate the leadership to unite a diverse city and an equally diverse City Council to move any agenda forward. So it's Cathy Woolard, the open lesbian, who will be getting our vote. She approaches politics as if she has a power saw in her hand. And you don't mess with a lesbian and her power saw. She's a lean, mean, grilling machine - not afraid to ask the tough questions and hold people accountable. This city needs her attitude to set the City Council in the right direction. Cathy gets Edith's vote. CANDIDATE FOR CITY COUNCIL, DISTRICT 2 Look out for Jan Wyche. Her campaign materials highlight these amazing personal qualities: Takes copious notes Holds individuals accountable Values every voice and scares people who don't do the right thing Jan manages reactive and proactive simultaneously while bringing a legacy of Wyche character back to Atlanta politics Mmm-kay. 'nough said. Also running is David Powell. He put a flyer in our mailbox with no postage (way illegal). Of course, the focus of the flyer was to illustrate the alleged improprieties of incumbent Debi Starnes. And to point out his presidential impeachment from the Forth Ward Neighbors Association for attempting to "thwart the development agenda of Debi's contributors." Debi Starnes, the incumbent, highlighted State and Dornacher in one of her campaign brochures, and manufactured a quote about Debbie supporting Human Rights. While that's all fine and good, this City has bigger issues than Human Rights. What good are Human Rights if you don't have a police force that cannot effectively respond when rights as fundamental as personal safety have been violated? The City too busy to hate is also too cash-strapped to hate. To that end, Debbie understands the issues at hand and works closely with neighborhoods to solve the problems. In all our conversations with Debbie, we've never once talked about human rights. Of more importance are day care, our parks, and public safety. You can bet Edith will be casting her ballot for Debbie. In summary, tomorrow is election day. Edith will be there casting her ballot, and she hopes you will be, too. --end--