FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: October 20, 2001, 6:00 p.m. Flamingo Killed in Violent Act BARNES PLACE (ATLANTA, GEORGIA) - A flamingo in the Flamingo Grove has been killed in what appears to be a horrific act of violence. Atlanta Police officials called to the scene are still investigating the crime. It remains to be discovered whether this is a random act of terror or if it was in fact directed at Barnes Place, and more specifically Flamingo Grove, a habitat created for plastic lawn flamingos. "At this point, we just need to hurry up and wait," said a somber Director of Ambiance and Entertainment Timothy State. State, who has been trained to identify oddities, first noticed trouble when he came home from a week in Orlando, Florida, where he was attending the International Council of Shopping Centers' Marketing and Management Convention. One flamingo's head and tail had been sawed off, and the decapitated head had been shoved up the flamingo's tail. It's not known when the graphic crime was committed. "You know that numb feeling you get when you realize you're a victim of a crime," continued State. "That sort-of 'how odd, that flamingo has its head up it's a--,' and then it occurs to you the flamingo is plastic, and he could never get his head up his a-- if he tried. Someone, somehow, had to force it. And they did it right below the window to the Cineplex." At 1613 hours on Saturday, October 27, State activated the 911 Emergency System by calling to report the alleged lawn ornament murder. In Atlanta, the only way to report a crime is to call 911. Once having notified the authorities, State immediately secured the crime scene. At 1539 Atlanta Police Officer A.E. Foster arrived on the scene. "Damn," he said. "Some a--hole come all up in your yard. We gotta make a report of this." A report has been filed in the Zone 5 precinct. Anyone with information regarding the crime should call the Atlanta Police at 404-658-7830 and indicate they have information regarding Complaint Number 013001391. "While it's early in the investigation," said Officer Foster, "I certainly suspect fowl play, believe me, we'll be exploring all routes and every lead we get." "Please," said Anthony Dornacher, co-director of catering and guest relations, "Go home, and hug your children. And tell them you love them every day." Go home, and hug your children. And tell them you love them every day; words for our time. ATTACHMENT: The body in Flamingo Grove is covered while the investigation continues. --END--