Sideburn Relationships I was standing in front of the mirror on Monday, shaving with the new Gillette Mach 3, when I noticed my sideburns were desperately uneven. It's the type of thing one never notices as it happens, only after the fact. Long after the fact. Examining my sideburns in the mirror, I pondered how they could get almost half-an-inch off and realized my relationships were in much the same condition. A little ratty (the just before the trim look) and significantly off-balance. No one rolls out of bed in the morning hopping their sideburns are out of whack. And one certainly doesn't roll out of bed hoping for a relationship on the edge, either. But the realization things are not right is half the battle, or at least I'm thinking this so far. It sounds like I've come farther than I have to go, and that gives me a sense of hope. I've put a lot of time into pondering my sideburns. Do I really want sideburns? Long? Short? Should I just shave what's longer and make them even? Or do I try to grow them out so they're the same length? I've put about as much time into pondering the fate of my sideburns as I have my relationships. Actually, that's not true; my sideburns have become a welcome distraction from some heavy-weighing issues. So how did my relationship got so off-balance? As I hit the freeway and merged with the morning commute, it occurred to me in the same way my sideburns became uneven: mindless, thoughtless, repetitive going through the motion motions. Each day, without thought, one sideburn became less and less long. And, each day, without thought, my relationships became less and less close. Day-to-day living can become repetitive. While each day may be unique, you still roll out of bed, have breakfast, shower, shave, go to the office the same way as you do every day, sit at the same desk in the same position. You get the idea. There isn't much variety in our daily lives, which alters from one day to the next. It becomes easy for the blasé way to set in. And when that happens, everything about our existence is sucked right in, including our relationships. And one day, before you now it, everything you thought was in perfect balance and harmony, is off-kilter and off-key. That's what happened with me. I began to realize I had lost focus on what was really important in my life-my relationships. I say relationships because I didn't wake up until all of my relationships were almost non-existent. I got a letter from one of those best friends who are your life buddies and advisors, un-asking me to be in his upcoming wedding. The reason: I hadn't showed an interest in him, his fiancé (also a good friend), or their wedding planning efforts. I was devastated, but knew in my heart he was right. About the same time the letter arrived, a friend passed away unexpectedly. His partner was devastated, but took solace in the fact they had just spent a significant amount of time together, and at the time of his death, there were no regrets. At the funeral, his partner spoke of all he missed and was going to miss: the friendship. The multiple calls throughout the day just to check in. The daily lunches together. Figuring out dinner the minute they get home. His surviving partner will hold on to those memories forever, while my friend took those same memories to his grave. What he left behind and undone was a pile of incomplete work on his desk. Today, his spirit lives on so strong, not because of what he failed to accomplish, or the material possessions uncollected, or the income not realized. It lives on because he left all that unfinished, and his relationships were complete, and his sideburns always even.