Pre-Millennium Photos Special Event Photos Post-Millennium Photos Disaster Kit Check List Order books and videos from Amazon.com on Y2K One Injured as Barnes Place has Marginal Y2K Performance One Capable Host is resting easy after sustaining a decor injury during a test New Year's Celebration, which produced marginal results and quite possibly the most awkward social situation Barnes Place has ever encountered. Director of Ambiance and Entertainment Timothy State is resting today after injuring himself while installing the Y2K Decor. Mid-evening a cauliflower-like blister sprout on his right middle finger, a result from inflating 350 helium balloons which covered the ceiling in the Sashay Ballroom. "It was fine while the cocktails were flowing," said State, "but now, I'm a bit uncomfortable." Barnes Place had turned the clock forward to December 31, 1999, on all systems in the house to test Y2K Compliance. Guests watched the thermostat, the most accurate in the house, for midnight. Unfortunately, Barnes Place experienced sporadic power losses, leaving guests to ring in the new millennium in the glow of candles and emergency lighting. A hurricane update and "We are the Champions" blasted from the backup battery-powered AM radio as guests toasted the dawn of a new century. The toilet did pass, functioning properly, said Jon, a republican from the Buckhead area of Atlanta, who made the announcement that he had taken the "first piss of the millennium." "We learned a lot," said State who is resting in the prone position with his middle finger extended in the air, but had the energy to comment. "We're still assessing the test results, but we know now that we must make improvements in some areas, and others we're fine." Most mechanical systems continued to function into the new millennium, however, State pointed out that Blanche, Barnes Place's mainframe computer system which controls the security system, lighting, and many other functions in the house, systematically shut down, thus leaving guests in the dark without power. Evacuation was not necessary, said Director of Catering and Guest Relations Anthony Dornacher. "We had a healthy supply of alcohol to hold us through. And people had brought canned goods." John, a confederate from Tennessee who sipped the beverage of his choice Boone's Farm Snow Creek Berry Flavored Apple Wine Product, did point out the need for illuminated exit signs. "We're on it," responded State. "We might have performed better had we not been distracted throughout the evening," said Dornacher. Dornacher is referring to the most awkward social situation to arise at Barnes Place. "I hope our guests did not even notice, and their evening moved along uninterrupted." Apparently upset he was not getting the attention he thought he deserved, Long John left a treat in the office, unbeknownst to the Capable Hosts, and apparently guests. One guest unfortunately stepped in the deposit, and then proceeded to track it through Barnes Place. Dornacher discreetly cleaned dog deposit from the floor while State politely distracted the guests. The distraction was successful as State encouraged Darryl, a landscape architect who always has something to say about the Barnes Place Gardens, into making floral rosettes out of spray Easy Cheese. Much to the amusement of those around him, he depleted the supply of Easy Cheese for the millennium, and Dornacher was successful with his task, unobserved by the guests around him. In an official statement from his bed State said, "You can just imagine our horror. Horror. We are so embarrassed our dog would act out in such a manner. You can bet he's getting all the attention he deserves today." Barnes Place wasn't alone in its marginal Y2K performance. Shortly after midnight, State was informed by Rico, who recently moved to the hood, that a lear jet was being towed in front of Barnes Place. Confused, State explained no guest had arrived in a lear jet, and if they had, it wouldn't be towed if parked properly in the Event Parking area. State and Rico ran down 14th Street to investigate. A lear jet was being towed down the street towards Piedmont Park. Upon further investigation, it was determined the lear jet had failed its Y2K Compliance Test and fell from the sky. An amazing photo should appear to the right. Pre-Millennium Photos Special Event Photos Post-Millennium Photos Disaster Kit Check List Order books and videos from Amazon.com on Y2K