Twittering

Release 'Patriotism,' Or I'll Hold 'Gay' Hostage

        I’ll give the word ‘gay’ back when right-wing republicans give the word ‘patriotic’ back. This morning, reporter on NPR was speaking with a woman about the differences between Barack Obama and John McCain. She was citing McCain’s past, demonstrating he was more patriotic than Obama--implying serving in the military and being a P.O.W. is more patriotic than leaving private practice to serve in public office.
        But that’s not my understanding of the requirements necessary for one to be patriotic. You know, when I was in elementary school, I received gold stars every quarter for citizenship, so I consider myself a bit of an expert in the area. And growing up, my understanding of what it meant to be patriotic was a little more global than being a P.O.W.
        I was taught that it was people like John McCain who helped to create a world where we could be patriotic without fighting, a world where each of us could demonstrate our patriotism in our unique ways. With roots firmly planted in a small fishing and timber town along the southern coast of Oregon, in my redneck background being patriotic meant, above all, respecting yourself enough to respect the people around you regardless of what they think because we each have a God-given right to think and believe what we think and believe.
        But McCain and the radical platform he panders to have altered the meaning of patriotic. If you disagree, you’re not only un-patriotic, but you’re pro-terrorist. If you question authority, you’re more than disrespectful, you’re unpatriotic. They’ve even pushed so far to suggest that if you live in an urban area, you’re not American. Obama has pointed out there are no states in this union of United States of America that are less American than another state.
        In the redneck backwoods I come from, being patriotic meant that you had the ability to question authority in order to hold it accountable. It meant you were free to speak your mind, as long as it didn’t break the respect-yourself-enough-to-respect-the-people-around-you rule. It meant taking pride in your freedoms, and your ability to demonstrate your pride by saluting the flag, or burning the flag. Marching in a demonstration, or watching a demonstration. Voting for the candidate who already holds the office, or voting for the candidate that you think will represent you in a new and different way.
        So until the McCain cronies get a grip on the true meaning of patriotism, I’m going to demonstrate my terrorist inclination and hold the word ‘gay’ hostage. Not only will it be ‘happy,’ but it’s going to represent a sinful inclination for pink cocktails. It’s going to mean an immoral embrace of both the feminine and masculine. It’s going to represent a sense of style and fashion, combined with a biting humor and wit. It will mean invoking the words of the United States Constitution to point out the injustices that still live in our country. And, I’ll it means I will thoughtlessly worship Dolly Parton.
        Oh, wait, she’s patriotic; I’ll thoughtlessly worship Cher.

Never Gonna' Give You Up

We just knew it was only a matter of time before that dreadful "green screen" behind McCain was transformed into something brilliant like this.



Whoever art directed the video images behind McCain paid more attention to how the background would appear to convention attendees than it would to television audiences.