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Week 2 Writing Assignment - A Character Different from Yourself, in a Familiar Setting

Joshua sat on the curb and looked down between his legs to the street gutter. The wine coolers were going straight to his head. He was on his fifth and it was hot, so he suddenly felt weak and eerily dizzy. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on overcoming the nausea.

His life had unraveled so quickly. As much as he wanted to blame Luke’s parents, he knew it was his own fault. Just six months earlier, he spent all his free time with a dozen different teenagers. Either camping, or hiking, or playing games at slumber party retreats, as he taught the kids about the good word of the Lord. Helping troubled youth find their way to have faith in God, and faith in themselves drove him to the ministry. He knew it was important, making a difference in the lives of others.

Joshua didn’t realize the power of his mission, until it was taken away from him. He trusted Luke, and that’s what hurt so much.
Luke was borderline, and just needed a little more attention. For several months, Joshua had been going to Luke’s swim meets and taking him to dinner afterwards, where they would talk late into the evening about life and God. Joshua spent time with Luke in the library on weekends while he worked on school papers. It was the type of time Luke’s father, President of the Church Board, and mother couldn’t give to Luke. Luke was a good-looking, smart kid and with a little more confidence, he had great potential.

Joshua was watching reruns of Highway to Heaven when Luke had called at the last minute to go to a movie. It was a silly romantic comedy, and they laughed together at the awkward moments. Luke turned to hang his head on Joshua’s shoulder. Joshua replayed the moment in his mind, wondering. Did Luke linger? No, certainly not.

Joshua drove Luke home, and when he turned to say good night, Luke leaned in and their lips met. For just a moment. They gazed into each other’s eyes, and Joshua leaned in, reciprocating. Luke’s stubble was electric, his lips softer than Joshua imagined. Later, the taste of Luke’s mouth lingered as he drifted to sleep that night.

The following Tuesday, Joshua went to meet with the minister about the upcoming retreat. But instead of making a plan, the minister asked him to resign quietly and to never return to the church. In a fight with his parents, Luke said he had fallen in love with Joshua because they had kissed. Luke’s parents went to the minister, and demanded a simple, clean solution. Joshua needed to resign. It was, the minister said, in the best interest of the teens.
Now, a summer later, Joshua was sitting on the street curb, slightly drunk and ill to his stomach as the Gay Pride Parade danced by him. While Luke’s kiss stole what was precious to him, it had opened a door to a part of himself he had never explored before. He was gay. Without the pressure of the church and the need to be a Christian role model to his teens, those sinful feelings Joshua worked hard to repress and could never explain came so freely now. And that scared him.

He looked around at the crowd. A man sucked on another’s nipple. Women exposed their bare breasts. Men walked around in heels with feather boas, and dressed like women. Children watched from windows of the apartments above.

He swigged his wine cooler. Joshua drank because he didn’t want to have to talk to anyone. He didn’t want to have to interact with people. These sinful people. Was this what being gay was about? Was this the community he was now part of? The thought turned his stomach. Joshua wondered if he would have to celebrate public nakedness, as children looked on, to be gay? Celebrate cross-dressing? Celebrate public indecency? He thought of what his Mother would say, and he wasn’t proud. A man wearing only a jockstrap and combat boots walked in front of him. He was lean and sinewy, like Luke in his swimming Speedo. He was disgusted, but could not turn away from the way the jock strap framed the fuzzy buttocks of the blonde man.

What they do in their own home in private is fine, Joshua thought. But to display it to the world, this was wrong. And it made him sick. He sat, breathing deep. Trying not to pass out. Trying not to vomit. Praying to God the feeling would go away. Praying to God the desire would subside.